Life Really Does Begin After College

You know how school has always been about finding your place? From grade school all the way to college, it was just that. Finding your place. Turns out, school was a really small world. If finding your place in a school was tough, it’s nothing compared to after school. The walls have been taken down and it there seem to be no boundaries whatsoever.

The world has become the school. And I’m trying to find my place.

It has been a few months since I’ve graduated. I knew a lot could happen within a few months but the realist–or should maybe the idealist–in me could never quite grasp that idea though I’ve experience it time and time again.

These past few months have become another experience.

After graduation, I had some sense of direction. It wasn’t clear cut but I knew where I wanted to go, what I wanted to be. That was a huge change from a couple years back and now that I’ve graduated and figured things out, I thought I finally knew where my life was headed. WRONG.

As the doors opened to endless and bigger and even smaller possibilities, I got to know myself better. I got to know reality better. It turns out what I want for my life is a lot from the world. And that no one thing could give me all that I want.

There is no one path for all the dreams I want.

Should I choose between dreams? Or should I just try to have it all by trying to walk on different paths all at the same time?

The months rolled and crawled and swept by; and there seems to be a change within me. Or is it another part that I never knew until now? I’m no longer someone who’s happy with the idea of being defined by one desk. I’ve been battling my comfort zones and the fight is exhausting. I’m enjoying increased interpersonal relationships but part of me just wants to rest and go back to my comfort zone. But now I know my dreams are not in that comfort zone. As I’ve seen more, the desire to explore and see more has been unleashed. Gone is that idea of a single desk. I’m no longer wanting to see the same four walls day in and day out.

Now I’m more confused than ever. Now I’m starting to figure out what I need which resulted in not knowing what I want. Not knowing where to go.

All I can really do is lift it all to God. Because He knows. He always knows. Long before I know anything, He knows. And He works. In ways I don’t know and not always see but He knows. And He works.

Chop…Chop…Chop! ~ A Vision of Abuse

Just had to share this amazing work by Secret Angel.

The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

Chop…Chop…Chop…
Were the 3 words that I heard.
As I saw a vision…
of a chopping that was blurred.
I saw the motion…
of these repeated hits.
And just knew the target…
a heart being chopped to bits.

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Managing Emotions through 7 Cups of Tea

It’s easy to get blame someone for a situation, even when it was no one’s fault. 

That first line sounds illogical–and it is–but true.

I think because it’s easier to have something or someone to focus all your negative emotions on. In a time when humans do as they please with the world like we own it, it’s hard to think that we have no control over our lives.

Also, if there’s something or someone as the source of the problem, it keeps everything and everyone else clean. Then the solution would become easier. Get rid of the source. Cutting the source off from your life entirely is fast and easy because there are no other things to take into consideration. No opinions, no feelings.

Again it’s fast and easy. But it’s not the best solution. Ask the people living the most fulfilled lives. Life was never meant to be fast and easy. It would absolutely be no fun. No great story to tell the kids, the grand-kids. Uninspiring and not challenging. You don’t mold into a great person. You don’t take form.

If you have difficulty dealing with things, seek for help.

We’re living in an amazing time. Help has become much more accessible. The internet has broken barriers and is continuing to. I’m currently enjoying talking to listeners on 7 Cups of Tea and learning from their Managing Emotions Guide. It’s an amazing platform to let people open up without fear of being judged.

If you know someone who you think needs help, get them on that site.

Life Always Works Out on Its Own – Quit Trying Too Hard

I’m currently at a crossroad in my life.

I just graduated college. I wanted to enjoy my last summer vacation but I was broke. School was pretty stressful so I wanted to have a good time but I was really broke. I was starting to get pressured to help with the costs at home.

(Cultural background info: On this side of the world, the children in a household are not expected to move out unless if they’re moving to work in a faraway place with better opportunities for work; and whether they move out or not, they are expected to help the parents with the expenses at home, especially if there are siblings, usually younger, who remain as dependents.) I’m not complaining with that idea as I WANT to help. I believe that as you get older, as children enter the working arena, parents should have to be able to relax more and eventually not worry about finances at all. But as it turns out, you can’t easily get a good high-paying job, even if you’ve graduated from a good school.

Financial pressure, from obligations and own desires, was caving in. Added to my frustration was boredom and little nuisance from other family members. Being at home way too much when you’re living with other people can really cause minor annoyances to tick you off.

Thank God for spiritual involvement. Just before graduation, I started attending a non-traditional Catholic community. However, it still took a few months for me to really start to let go and accept that a lot of the time, things are not going to go the way I want it to, no matter what I do. And it’s actually for the better.

I came to this realization because I found a job opening that I think is perfect for me. It’s exactly what I’ve been looking for. Though, I’m not sure how much it pays, I know I’ll love it. It’s an entry level job in what seems to be a good company with an office that is located in a great part of the metro and they’re willing to train in the field that I love – marketing. And not just marketing but the exact kind that I’ve been looking for – Search Engine Optimization!

This is a real jackpot since there aren’t many opportunities for that field for where I live.

I’m praying and praying and praying that I get this job. I’ve just sent out my application today and have not received word yet from the company. The real downside is they’ll be accepting applications for a few months so there’s a lot of waiting. Thank God I was able to get my hands on a part-time job that offers some cash and a little experience related to the job I’m applying for.

While I’m still praying that I get this job, I’m staying optimistic. I’m just feeling so good right now that I found such an opportunity. Again, praying and praying and praying.

To those who are going through something out there, here’s an email that I received first thing this morning from a good friend that might help you, too.

Cast Your Cares 

TODAY’S SCRIPTURE 
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”(1 Peter 5:7, NIV) 

TODAY’S WORD 
God cares so much about you today. Not only does He love and care about you, He cares about the things that you care about as well. If you have concerns, worry or anxiety about something in your life today; finances, relationships, your job or anything else, know that your heavenly Father already has a plan to take care of those things for you. It’s a good plan, and He wants to show Himself strong on your behalf. 

The scripture reminds us that the lilies of the field and the birds of the air are cared for, how much more will your heavenly Father take care of you? Today, cast all of your anxiety on Him by choosing to trust that He is going to take care of you. Refuse to dwell on your problems and don’t allow them to steal your peace and joy any longer. Instead, choose to meditate on His Word and confess God’s promises over your life. Cast your cares on Him and experience His peace, joy and blessing all the days of your life! 

A PRAYER FOR TODAY 
Father, thank You for caring for me. I choose today to cast my cares on You and trust that You are working behind the scenes on my behalf. I bless and magnify You in my life today and always in Jesus’ name. Amen.

“How to Disappear Completely” by David Bowick

This is definitely not chick lit. This is life’s drama in all its ordinary-ness yet crazy and even gore.

It’s not a thriller. Definitely not a suspense. So when I said gore, don’t think of murders. This novel was definitely a nice breather from all the chick lit I’ve been reading.

Chick lit is defined on Wikipedia as a “genre fiction which addresses issues of modern womanhood.” Well, I guess it is a common and serious dilemma among women how in the world they’re gonna get married to some freaking rich billionaire with just-fell-from-heaven-gorgeous looks and a perfectly hot bod who’d sweep the love-of-her-life off her feet. Preferably a musician celebrity, today’s choice as a modern Prince Charming.

Honestly though, I loved how realistic the story was. If finding out how small the world really is isn’t real for you, then I think you haven’t gotten to know your world very well yet. And the story isn’t simple. It shows how complicated real life can be, even if it’s a made-up one.

I just found all the similes and metaphors annoying. It was really enjoyable in the beginning, especially with numerous nicknames he had for that dog. When it got to the end, though, it just seemed like rambling.

Another thing, which I think sets this book apart from most that I read, is it’s not inspiring. It’s not preaching. It’s not shoving any lesson down your throat. It’s just a plain good read.

All-in-all, I’d recommend this if you want something easy, fun, and without all the fairy tale elements.

“Circumstances don’t make you, they reveal you.”

That was the message I got from this Facebook app, called God Wants You to Know.

Jeff Goins, in his book called Manifesto for Misfits, said “Most people don’t know who they are.”

Would it be wrong if I said…I think I’m scared to know who I am?

Maybe it’s because of the expectations I’ve set for myself? Or the expectations that I expect others are expecting which I expect to meet? Or, to be more exact, I’m expecting to fail to meet these unexpected expectations?

I told myself my word for 2014 would be Commitment.

One word to be my simple rule throughout the year. Yet here I am, having agreed to do a lot of things, the 500 Word Challenge, the Zero to Hero challenge, learning French, learning Cantonese on top of several priorities and I slipped up. I haven’t been able to keep up with a lot of them. Maybe I took on too much. Maybe I didn’t but I won’t know unless I push myself more to stay on track. And to that, I have to tell myself it’s okay. I slipped up but I can get back on track. I can’t expect myself to do things perfectly, that’s one of my most dangerous expectations.

I just have to keep at it.

Mistakes don’t define me. It’s what I do after that.

Zero to Hero!

So I’ve joined to the Zero-to-Hero 30 Day Blogging Challenge of WordPress. I’m planning to merge this with the My 500 Words. I am worried though…am I taking on too much?

And how do you put a badge on your blog and where do you place it?

 

Today’s Zero-to-Hero task: Introduce Yourself

I think my About Page does that best 🙂

My 500 Words Day 2 (For Me, I joined a day late)

I’ve done my 500 words for today. It’s a lot harder than it was yesterday. It’s hard to write something so mediocre after such a great start yesterday. Well, I wouldn’t call yesterday’s work great but it was a lot more comprehensive than I expected from continuous rambling. I saw a post on the Facebook group, expressing similar sentiments. It’s just nice to know that someone is sharing the same problem. It makes me feel more normal.

I can’t post today’s 500 words though. Some of it is pretty personal. Which is one of the things I was afraid would happen when I freewrite. Oh well, it was just nice to stick to the routine 🙂

My (First) 500 Words

Okay, so to formally announce that I’ve joined the My 500 Words, I’ve decided to publish my 1st 500-Word work. It’s pretty much rambling but it feels great to just cross the 500-word mark. Thank you to all who gave me tips on the facebook page, if you get to read this!

So this is my first post:

I’m tired and really sleep and have no idea what to write but I swore that my word for 2014 is commitment and so I’m gonna do this, I won’t let this day pass without a 500-word post. Published or unpublished.

So at first I thought this would be easy. I vaguely remembered a 500-word thing I had to do in high school or something. For a while, I stupidly thought that 500 words was equivalent to a single paragraph. Yes, I know pretty stupid. So I signed up without any hesitation. Oh how wrong I was of what to expect. How very wrong.

But I’m not regretting my choice. No, this is good for me as a writer. Discipline. That’s what I need. That’s why commitment is my word for this year. This is one little trial that would instill discipline in me which I would need to finish the year awesomely. I have a lot of big projects in mind. I’m graduating, finally going to start a business, (this one is much clearer than the one I planned before), and hopefully raise the money to go abroad and work abroad. Really big steps for someone like me who really loves sticking to my comfort zone. But here I am, ready to take on the challenge.

Okay so here I am at 200+ words. Not even close to 250. I complained of how difficult this is turning out to be on the Facebook group and surprisingly, there are so many people who have warm hearts and just willing to give advice. Not the usual cold shoulder posts I usually get. I mean, “seenzoned” posts. Yey, at 280 words!

Turns out I’ve committed to do a lot of stuff. I’ve committed to do this. I’ve committed myself to learning French, which is so far from any of the languages that I’m used to, especially the accent and god knows how “good” I am at languages but I’m learning it’s okay. I don’t need to answer more than one exercise a day. The difficulty level is also good for me. Another challenge. Another training. Heck, if I’m going to live abroad, embracing this difficulty level is just another step to keeping an open mind and adapting to a different culture, right? And by the way, I’m learning to speak French only because it was among the choices in the app and I pressed it by accident. Though I don’t mean any offense to French people but you have to admit, if you don’t grow up using that language, it’s pretty hard to learn. And yeah, so I pressed it by accident and the exercises for French loaded and I decided, “what the heck?” and pushed on with learning French. I’m also trying to learn Italian on top of that, which I can see is pretty confusing later on, I mean I’m predicting it would be since I’m learning French at the same time. I’m also trying to learn Cantonese but I haven’t found a good app for that so I’m not really motivated since I can’t form sentences in Cantanose. By the way, it’s a form of Chinese. It’s the language that’s used in Hong Kong.

HEY! What do you know, I just finished over 540 words!

Thank you to everyone who gave me tips (I mean if you ever get to read this) 🙂

Just write.

This explains it:

http://goinswriter.com/500-words/

 

In a nutshell, just write.

As of January 1, there’s the prospect of a new chapter in life, a business idea in mind and love is in the air. This is to an awesome start for 2014.