Life Really Does Begin After College

You know how school has always been about finding your place? From grade school all the way to college, it was just that. Finding your place. Turns out, school was a really small world. If finding your place in a school was tough, it’s nothing compared to after school. The walls have been taken down and it there seem to be no boundaries whatsoever.

The world has become the school. And I’m trying to find my place.

It has been a few months since I’ve graduated. I knew a lot could happen within a few months but the realist–or should maybe the idealist–in me could never quite grasp that idea though I’ve experience it time and time again.

These past few months have become another experience.

After graduation, I had some sense of direction. It wasn’t clear cut but I knew where I wanted to go, what I wanted to be. That was a huge change from a couple years back and now that I’ve graduated and figured things out, I thought I finally knew where my life was headed. WRONG.

As the doors opened to endless and bigger and even smaller possibilities, I got to know myself better. I got to know reality better. It turns out what I want for my life is a lot from the world. And that no one thing could give me all that I want.

There is no one path for all the dreams I want.

Should I choose between dreams? Or should I just try to have it all by trying to walk on different paths all at the same time?

The months rolled and crawled and swept by; and there seems to be a change within me. Or is it another part that I never knew until now? I’m no longer someone who’s happy with the idea of being defined by one desk. I’ve been battling my comfort zones and the fight is exhausting. I’m enjoying increased interpersonal relationships but part of me just wants to rest and go back to my comfort zone. But now I know my dreams are not in that comfort zone. As I’ve seen more, the desire to explore and see more has been unleashed. Gone is that idea of a single desk. I’m no longer wanting to see the same four walls day in and day out.

Now I’m more confused than ever. Now I’m starting to figure out what I need which resulted in not knowing what I want. Not knowing where to go.

All I can really do is lift it all to God. Because He knows. He always knows. Long before I know anything, He knows. And He works. In ways I don’t know and not always see but He knows. And He works.

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